Diwali

HAPPY DIWALI !!!

Made in Heaven Part 2

For those who have missed the first part...

Made in Heaven Part 1

The second part follows here.....

Of course I felt that the photo looked familiar. Because this was not the first time I was seeing Chandini.

My mind went back to my college days. Particularly to one incident that happened six years back. I was in the third year of my engineering. I had mastered the tricks of engineering education. Sleep all through the semester , take photocopies of some cheap book from a local author 3-4 days before the exams , skim through them the previous day of the exam and write some stories in the paper. This policy didn't fetch me great marks but it sure saved me from disappointments. I had lost interest in the system when I had got a paltry 50 - odd in one of my most favourite subjects while my friend had scored 80s in that subject after writing the story of the movie "Lagaan" during the exam. But exams bothered me only occasionally.

I lost sleep due another topic related to my college.

Chandini.

We both had chosen the same engineering stream so we were in the same class. Since she had joined school earlier and me missing one of my school final exams due to typhoid, she was younger than me. I never talked to her much except during the times I had to talk to her during practicals. She was a fairly popular personality in the college. She was very good in singing and used to win prizes in almost all college culturals. I usually go to all those culturals under the false context of taking part in some competition but end up losing all of them ... I never minded that. My aim had always been to applaud her singing, congratulate on her winning and exult at her success as she accepts the prize in the podium with all modesty. How much did I have to tell my self to snap out of her thoughts!!! But I couldn't..
I tried to reason with my heart. I put forward points in front of myheart and used to list girls who were more beautiful, smarter andmore friendlier towards me and demanded explanation for this crazyfascination I had towards Chandini. My heart would smile back at my mind and would say "You will never understand, don't give me your equations, this is not maths!!!!"I was going through this torture for a good part of three years. Torture!! What an understatement!!! I had thought that it should be made mandatory, that all secret agents should have gone through love. Anybody who had gone through love can take any other torture this world has to offer. I would have given anything to know whether I was in her heart. I was getting sick of imagining favorable interpretations for her simple activities.I felt the sensation of being applied "Oldspice"(after shave lotion) after getting shaved, when she talked to me. I didn't know whether to enjoy the chillness of her words or the exhilarating pain of my love.I used to wait for that "golden glance" of hers everyday and used torejoice all day by playing the glance again and again in my mind. Everyday was confusion as to whether she was an angel or the most beautiful witch born to torment me*I went through thousand more thoughts like this. I was really longing to express my love.

BUT HOW????
The opportunity presented itself when we went to industrial visit to Ooty.
Industrial visit????

Well.... It was just a fancy name we had given for our excursion.After a brief visit to "Hindustan Photo films" to justify the"industriousness " of our visit we went to various other places ofattraction including the "Botanical garden". I had made up my mind to confess my love during this trip and was waiting for the right time. The chance presented itself during our visit to the botanical garden.There were 7 of us in our gang of close friends, three guys and four girls including myself and Chandini who stuck together as we visited the various places. As we were roaming about in the garden, Chandini suddenly stopped. 'I can’t walk one more step from here on!!! You guys look around and come back. I will wait here" "hey come on!!!! We wont go all the distance, we will just see a few more places, also we cant leave you alone here", one of our friends exclaimed as he looked around into the darkness that was setting in. I knew this was my chance. "Why don't you guys carry on?? Even I’m fairly tired. I shall stay back with Chandini and we will wait for you guys".Everyone seemed to like the idea. Soon we were left alone and we sat on the lush green grass. After the initial chat about the trip I slowly gathered boldness.

"Chandini"

"Ya ", she was resting her head on her folded hands and was gently closing her eyes.
"I want to tell you something", I felt some non-existent block gettingstuck in my throat. She raised her head and looked at me. I cleared my throat.. "I wanted to tell you this for a long time. Whatever it is please don't be angry on me" She smiled gently. "Hey Vishwa, your buildup is scary, you are talking as if....." she stopped suddenly. "As if....." , I enquired softly. "As if.. as if you are gonna propose to me or something!!!! ", she let out an uneasy laugh. I didn't answer her. She had guessed it!!!!
"You are right Chandini", I replied

"Right about what??", she was at her irritating best.

Why do these girls want everything to be spelled out perfectly.

"You are right Chandini..... I .... Iam........."

I couldn't raise my tongue.

"I want to marry you Chandini, I want to make you part of my life" I felt as if a huge 1000 ton container was removed from my heart. I was waiting for her reply.
She didn't answer for a while. I would have happy with that, had I known the words she uttered next. "Whats wrong with you Vishwa, have you gone mad or something???" I felt as if my eyes would pop out of my head as I tried to control my tears!!!
"I mean!! I thought you were a smart and decent guy!!! I......" She never spoke for a while. "So you don't love me????", I couldn't believe I was asking this ... The message was clear but I wanted the exact words from her mouth.
"Of course not!! Did I ever behave as if I was in love with you???" I felt as if my heart was beaten up by thousand goons. "So you never felt love towards me?? Not even once?? Not even one instance????", I knew it was pathetic but I couldn't help asking her this.
"Oh Vishwa!!!! Iam so sorry to say this. See I have a lot of respect and admiration towards you but love!!??? That is different.. You can’t coerce love from someone. It should happen by itself. And I don't feel that towards you but........" She stopped as she saw our friends coming back.We never talked about this after wards and I tried to avoid her as much as possible. Since I was an introvert by nature, nobody suspected anything.I didn’t feel any grudge or remorse towards her and thought I would never see her for the rest of my life.

Apparently I was wrong ......

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Falling Leaves

I was thinking of old friends today
and how many of them have slipped away.

Moved, got married, or stopped calling so much,
Found new friends, got busy, and just lost touch.

It reminded me of falling leaves .
Every autumn the leaves fall from the trees.

Some stay longer than others, but eventually -

Each leaf must fall, I'm told,
leaving the tree alone to face the cold.

Why is it that in the time of utmost need
the leaves would seek to leave the tree?

And when we need our friends around
we look and they cannot be found?

Of course these friendships come and go
and in the spring new leaves will grow.

But I prefer autumn friends of old
with crackling laughter and colors bold.

And then I thought of you.

That one stubborn leaf that won't let go.
That clings despite the winds that blow.

Fighting ice, and snow, and winter's stings
Hanging on right through till spring.

So I guess that's what you are to me -
The very last leaf to leave the tree.

I know it seems silly, but it's true.

When I see that last leaf...
I think of you.....

don't drift away....

will you???

I dont want you to...

Feast for the eyes...

A beautiful view of Thiruvanamalai in the night on a full moon day also can be seen is the famous jothi.

Things to remember..:-) and follow too

Have a firm handshake.

Look people in the eye.

Sing in the shower.

Own a great stereo system.

If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

Keep secrets.

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.

Always accept an outstretched hand.

Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.

Whistle.

Avoid sarcastic remarks. - Important

Choose your life's mate carefully. >From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.

Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.

Lend only those books you never care to see again.

Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

When playing games with! Children, let them win.

Give people a second chance, but not a third.

Be romantic.

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.

Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your Convenience, not the caller's.

Be a good loser.

Be a good winner.

Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.

When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.

Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.

Keep it simple.

Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.

Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.

Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets

Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the one's you did.

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.

Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.

Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.

Begin each day with some of your favorite music.

Once in a while, take the scenic route.

Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'

Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.

Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.

Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.

Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.

Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.

Become someone's hero.

Marry only for love.

Count your blessings.

Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.

Wave at the children on a school bus.

Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.

Varam

The Festival of Bengal...

Durga puja is an important festival in the land of Bengal. I have heard that this festival is so colourful and is celebrated in a very big manner in Bengal. I have heard that every street has big idols of Durga ma and they jus look very beautiful. These idols are decorated so beautifully with flowers and with all bright colours. And she is portrayed in different avatars, like a mother who is very kind with that love radiating in her face , like Kali who fights against evil , a face filled with rage, and so many other avatars.....Its all hear say. I wanna celebrate Durga festival in Bengal atleast once. Actually i have quite a few Bengali friends . Wanna enjoy being there during the Durga puja time, enjoy every minute of my stay there. Hope my dream comes true.

Rex D'Souza (My latest CRAZE)

Rex is my latest craze. Aftre seeing him perform oneday now i'm a regular viewer of FAME GURUKUL. He is fabulous. His voice is jus amazing. Must here him prform "Dol baje Dol Baje" and "tadap thadap". I jus melt seeing him perform. His smile is just mesmerising. He is a total store of energy. At times i wonder form where on earth does he get so much energy and he sees to it that he does justice to his singing too. he deserves to be one of the two winners. But i get angry when he keeps calling Ruprekha, " Rupu Darling Rupu darling " ( actually jalan ho raha hai) .

But this week he is in the danger zone. I pray he is one among the two who are going to celebrate glory.

Just like the increasing number of old age homes there is also a considerable increase in the number of orphanages. We find many in and around the city. Why do people abandon their own flesh??? If they won’t be able to bring up children then why on earth give birth to them? There are also many other reasons like for want of a boy baby they abandon girl babies. Fine let’s forget this for the time being but what want to say is something different…

There are so many couples who are not blessed with a child. Why can’t they adopt a child and give him/her a meaningful life. At the same time they make theirs too meaningful. But they only keep cribbing that they don’t have a child why can’t they adopt and be parents to an abandoned child. By doing so we would have helped the country in reducing the number of orphan children.

One of my class teachers did not have a child and so she adopted a small 1 month old girl baby and now she is in her 2nd std. Tina is such a sweet kid. She has made their lives a very happy one. She is everything to them. My respect for my teacher has increased by leaps and bounds due this reason.

Those children long for our affection and help. Lets adopt a baby and leave no one without anyone. All they need is only our love ….

Azhagu nilave kadavu thirandu arugil vandaye….
kadavu thirandu arugil vandaye,
Enadu kanavai unadu vizhiyil ezhudi vandaye,
Oru palaivanamai irunda vayitril palai varthaye,
Indha paavi unnai sumakavillai nanum un thaye….
Azhagu nilave kadavu thirandu arugil vandaye….